Here’s an excerpt from my forthcoming book. This powerful truth didn’t hit me until I saw the worlds on the page…
This is my sixth book. It is the book I’ve been afraid to write my whole life. It was inside of me when I first started journaling as a teenager. It was the book inside of me when I wrote my three novels. In those stories, I tried to make sense of my pain and reconcile that pain with my faith. My book, Fed and Focused, was created as a text for a Bible Study class I was teaching at the time. In hindsight, it was a rather auspicious attempt to avoid writing this book. When I wrote Stay in Your Lane, it was this book that sprouted its tiny seedling from the darkness into the light.
Now I’m ready…I think. I sit nestled in my bed in the fragrance of rosemary, orange, and peppermint to stimulate my creativity. I am writing this book after I discovered who I am. After I accepted it. After I found my voice. This book is being written after forgiveness, after healing, after celebration, after reflection and, yes, after I ran out of excuses. This book…is after all of that.
When I read those words in the original draft of the manuscript I was stunned. The truth didn’t occur to me while I was writing. It was only when I consumed the words on the page that I realized how long it took me to accept this part of my truth. I knew I’d write the story. God had made that very clear. So, my inner Sarah tried to concoct a way to get it done.
Your Way Might Work
In Genesis 15, God told Abraham that he was going to have a son. Sarah and Abraham were too old to be having children. They also had not been able to have any children up to that point. So, there’s that. Like many of us would do, Sarah came up with a plan to make it happen. She told Abraham to sleep with her servant girl, Hagar. “Perhaps I can have children through her.” (Genesis 16:2)
Helloooo! If God says, “I’m going to do this.” Why do we go out and try to make it happen? If I tell you that I’m going to treat you to dinner, I don’t advise you to run out to a restaurant and order before I get there. Sure, you might enjoy the meal, but you’ll end up paying for yourself. I never said I was buying you dinner today. I didn’t even tell you that we were going out to eat. I simply said “I’m treating you to dinner” and you did the rest.
That’s pretty much what Sarah did. Abraham and Hagar had a son, Ishmael. Eventually, Sarah and Abraham had a son, Isaac. There has been baby mama drama between the two ever since. Sarah made a complete mess of things trying to do God’s job.
God was with Ishmael, just like he was with my other five books. However, this is the book he showed me long ago.This is my Isaac. This is the one that has been aching inside of me. This one is the reason God made me a writer. You would think God is pretty annoyed with me for taking so long to catch the vision. But no…
Get There If You Can
I was reading Hebrews 11, the faith hall of fame in the Bible. I’ve read it many times, but this most recent time something leaped off the page and smacked me in the face. Sarah. Hebrews 11:11 says that “Sarah believed God would keep his promise.” For real? *insert side eye* How in the world is Sarah…with her scheming, plotting self…listed with the likes of Enoch, Noah, and Moses’ mother. This chick still has the Middle East in conflict. She’s like the baby mama hater of all time.
What was I missing? Why is Sarah included after all that mess?
It occurred to me that God’s grace is apparently more extraordinary than I ever considered. I guess Sarah is listed in Hebrews 11 because she got there eventually. Though she laughed when God said it, her heart desired a son. She must have hoped desperately for God to be telling the truth. God didn’t hold her human insecurity and doubt against her. He forgave her need to control the situation. I, for one, am extremely happy to know that God gives us a chance to get on board with his plan. *insert two Amens and a Hallelujah*
Maybe you laugh at the desire in your heart because it’s painful to think about failure. Maybe you think your dream is impossible because you can’t see how it will ever happen from where you are today. Maybe you’re like I was before I wrote my upcoming book, too impatient and emotionally exhausted to wait for the vision to clear. Whatever your reason, know that God is patiently and lovingly waiting for you to accept the wonderful thing he’s trying to give you.
My advice to you, from experience….just open you heart and get out of His way.